0 members online in the last 15 minutes:
(none)
The most users ever online was 9 on June 11, 2006 @ 3:53 PM.

Random Quotes

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 ... 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50
ID #573
Occurred: 19 Sep 2014
Submitted: 14 Oct 2014, 9:03 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 2.500/4 (6 votes)
Link
*Ritch is talking about the new matching "cartoon devil with an erection" tattoos her and her friend got last month*

(21:37:56) Infilament: Third, would you get a Satan tattoo spread across your chest on a dare?
(21:38:08) venisonvixen: My satan tattoo has a penis.
(21:38:16) Infilament: right, it has to have a penis too
(21:38:28) venisonvixen: It's adorbs though :)
(21:38:52) Thiradell: on a dare?
(21:38:59) Thiradell: you should've asked me if I would for $10,000
(21:39:34) Infilament: didn't your best friend get the same tattoo in the last month, rachel
(21:39:54) Infilament: because you strapped your friend to the tattoo chair and held a gun?
(21:40:13) venisonvixen: No
(21:40:33) venisonvixen: we dared each other to get matching surprise tattoos
(21:40:38) venisonvixen: and not look till it was done. artist's choice
(21:41:06) ngameratwork: artist's choice for something on your body for the rest of your life, holy smokes
(21:41:07) Infilament: you got satan's penis on your body without knowing it?
(21:41:21) COME as u r337: thats usually how it happens, infil
(21:41:31) BluelineGoddess: tampons - satan's cottony fingers
(21:41:31) DKK5: here's the thing Infil, devils with erections are a big part of my life
(21:42:56) COME as u r337: Rach, will you get a tattoo of Jimbo's pushup pic?
(21:44:33) TopRogue7: she already has a picture of satan and his penis, come
(21:44:34) venisonvixen: I'll get a Charlie Brown/Snoopy tattoo... and a pickle.
(21:44:52) venisonvixen: my best friend and I are getting matching pickles.
(21:44:57) Thiradell: lol
(21:46:15) DKK5: I'm gonna get a tattoo of Charlie Brown and Snoopy with his red dog dick double teaming Peppermint Patty
(21:56:19) venisonvixen: The artist said it's an "F-U" to the world
(22:05:08) venisonvixen: My mother will have a heart attack if she sees this one.
(22:09:11) venisonvixen: She only gets mad because "Dr Zador said no tattoos"
(22:09:28) venisonvixen: I said, "Dr Zador was a pediatric endocrinologist. tattoos are illegal for kids."
(22:10:10) ngameratwork: doctor zador doctor zador. doctor zador doctor zador. ooooooooh doctor zador
(22:10:20) venisonvixen: Dr Zador was a tyrant.
(22:10:45) COME as u r337: I am boycotting Dr Zador from this day forward.
ID #424
Occurred: 16 Apr 2007
Submitted: 15 Apr 2007, 11:36 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 2.727/4 (22 votes)
Link
Neo26988 (4:34:09 AM): What the fuck.
Neo26988 (4:34:17 AM): 5 of the top 7 songs on Last.Fm this week are by The Arcade Fire
octoinky (4:34:26 AM): the who?
HistoricToast (4:34:38 AM): no, the arcade fire!
Neo26988 (4:34:48 AM): No, not The Who,The Arcade Fire
Neo26988 (4:34:49 AM): Oh wtf
Neo26988 (4:34:53 AM): Don't steal my joke you faggot.
ID #449
Occurred: 1 Nov 2007
Submitted: 2 Nov 2007, 12:57 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 2.417/4 (24 votes)
Link
RyanWhiteGoose (11:53:58 PM): so Ive been considering joining LL
COME as u r3 7 (11:55:21 PM): you can't just JOIN LL, Goose.
RyanWhiteGoose (11:55:27 PM): I mean Lava Life
RyanWhiteGoose (11:55:31 PM): not Lue Links
RyanWhiteGoose (11:55:34 PM): Im not some sort of loser lol
ID #578
Occurred: 13 Oct 2014
Submitted: 14 Oct 2014, 9:26 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 3.000/4 (7 votes)
Link
*Jim texts to say he got into a car accident that morning*

Im Ngamer (3:31:24 PM): WHY were you even on the road to have your car run into Jim, I thought you had off today
GoldenJimbo007 (3:31:38 PM): It was in my work parking lot, had some stuff to do there!
GoldenJimbo007 (3:31:50 PM): Was sitting in my car talking to my buddy next to me in his car when it happened lol
Im Ngamer (3:32:30 PM): someone who drives a huge truck professionally 40 hours a week didn't notice your gigantic boat of an automobile?
GoldenJimbo007 (3:32:36 PM): Correct
GoldenJimbo007 (3:32:49 PM): Big dent in back, didn't bust my taillights at least
Im Ngamer (3:32:56 PM): just going ahead and assuming neither of you have had car insurance for 7 years
Infilament (3:33:27 PM): how much did the guy pay you off
GoldenJimbo007 (3:33:48 PM): $30 :-X
GoldenJimbo007 (3:34:42 PM): "What should we do? Call the cops? I pay you?"
GoldenJimbo007 (3:34:46 PM): "Hmmm, paying me is good"
Infilament (3:38:47 PM): lol $30
Infilament (3:38:49 PM): looooool
Infilament (3:38:58 PM): what do you expect to do with that
GoldenJimbo007 (3:39:07 PM): Buy my sweet sweet dinner
Infilament (3:39:09 PM): are you going to repair your car?
GoldenJimbo007 (3:39:17 PM): Nah, it's just cosmetic
Im Ngamer (3:40:09 PM): how much will you charge me when I accidentally bump Ritch off the Leo Frigo bridge on her daily jog next week?
GoldenJimbo007 (3:40:39 PM): $100
Im Ngamer (3:41:55 PM): hmmmm, that's fair considering the three month's pay I'd save you for that ring
(3:42:47 PM) GoldenJimbo007 has left the room.
Im Ngamer (3:43:07 PM): UH OH sure hope she wasn't prowling around behind him
ID #198
Occurred: Sep 22 2005
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 2.240/4 (25 votes)
Link
KLuminate (19:00:40): some people are offended by any sexual reference or mild cursing
KLuminate (19:00:47): so you cant talk to them
J Eternia F (19:01:09): I'm totally offended by sexual reference
Stickmansam 1024 (19:01:18): Sex!
J Eternia F (19:01:18): but I'll gladly pour tar on your twat
ID #346
Occurred: Jun 07 2006
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 2.923/4 (26 votes)
Link
StvnHaley (1:07:17 AM): integrals are about the hardest thing we are doing this year
octoinky (1:07:37 AM): we did some pretty monster integrals a while back
CieloAzor (1:07:59 AM): Me and indefinite integrals are like BloodE and girls.
CieloAzor (1:08:05 AM): I wouldn't know what to do with one if I had one.
ID #111
Occurred: Jun 22 2005
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 1.829/4 (35 votes)
Link
octoinky (23:11:00): FUCKING PENGUINS
ID #332
Occurred: May 14 2006
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 1.808/4 (26 votes)
Link
Im Ngamer (11:02:20 PM): marshy!
Im Ngamer (11:02:26 PM): Fraps can also record audio, right?
Isuxor (11:02:41 PM): yes
Im Ngamer (11:03:20 PM): is there an option like "record all audio on the computer"?
Im Ngamer (11:03:26 PM): so it would take me talking into the mic
Im Ngamer (11:03:32 PM): as well as what's coming out my speakers
Isuxor (11:05:02 PM): neg
Isuxor (11:05:07 PM): I-don't-think-so-anyway
Isuxor (11:05:12 PM): (my-spacebar-is-busted)
Im Ngamer (11:05:43 PM): must be from all that penis THWAPing you've done over the years!
Isuxor (11:06:07 PM): THWAP
Isuxor (11:06:12 PM): too-strong!
ID #193
Occurred: Sep 20 2005
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 2.280/4 (25 votes)
Link
(23:58:26) Neo26988: "Send us the top 10 ways you can tell a chef used to be a hacker."
(23:58:44) Neo26988: The story:
(23:58:49) Neo26988: "A Brisbane man who pleaded guilty to hacking into a former employer's system told the judge he has stopped working in IT and is training to become a chef."

* Introduces himself to you as an ex-hacker
* Apron says "World's Best Hacker"
* Wears a white hat
* Cooks nothing but ramen
* RAIDs his 5 small freezers into one big one
* Dishwasher has 128-bit encryption
* When asked about why it's taking so long to prepare the food, says "It's behind a firewall"
* Tries to get into the FBI's database with the blender
* Large collection of pornography hidden under the radishes
* Hacks vegetables
* Food on your plate is sorted by "Last Modified" date
* The cookies have chips in them
* Restaraunt has a /\/\ 3 |\| |_|
* Works for free
* Bill must be paid via PayPal
* Gets a phonecall from Microsoft 4 minutes into turning on his laptop in the kitchen
* Thinks he's better than every other chef
* Menu only has crackers on it
(Contributors: Wheat, BloodE, Sam, Neo, Dayle)
ID #50
Occurred: Dec 29 2003
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 2.000/4 (29 votes)
Link
Cereal Fetish (2:34:42 AM): Better than sex
Cereal Fetish (2:34:45 AM): With a watermelon
Was He DUpgamer (2:34:54 AM): *pondering*
Cereal Fetish (2:35:08 AM): Not...that...I've ever done...that sort of thing
Cyber1166 (2:35:25 AM): hm... I suppose... after you already cut it in half
Cereal Fetish (2:35:39 AM): Over the summer there was a huge bin of them in the back room of my job
Cyber1166 (2:35:41 AM): it'd be pretty hard otherwise
Cereal Fetish (2:35:44 AM): I was like...*idea*
Cereal Fetish (2:35:50 AM): I could eat them all!
Was He DUpgamer (2:35:58 AM): LOL
Was He DUpgamer (2:36:06 AM): misdirection
Was He DUpgamer (2:36:17 AM): and no... you couldn't
Cereal Fetish (2:36:25 AM): I know...that's what made me sad
Was He DUpgamer (2:36:33 AM): so you raped them
Was He DUpgamer (2:36:39 AM): instead
Was He DUpgamer (2:36:42 AM): bcs of the frustration
Cereal Fetish (2:36:45 AM): And I could do that to all of them
Was He DUpgamer (2:36:54 AM): and you taped on a drawing you made on a napkin of ...Neo
Cereal Fetish (2:37:17 AM): Yeah, it was in pretty bad shape after the first few thrusts
Was He DUpgamer (2:37:18 AM): and you said "who's "the one" NOW bitch!!!"
Cereal Fetish (2:37:27 AM): so i started drawing directly on the watermelons themselves
Was He DUpgamer (2:37:40 AM): what a visual
Was He DUpgamer (2:37:45 AM): watermelons with smily faces
Was He DUpgamer (2:37:52 AM): or like...
Was He DUpgamer (2:37:55 AM): O faces
Cyber1166 (2:37:58 AM): oh, it wasn't the faces he drew
Was He DUpgamer (2:38:15 AM): NICE.
Was He DUpgamer (2:38:27 AM): *throws tact on floor and steps on it*
Was He DUpgamer (2:38:30 AM): that won't be coming back
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 ... 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50