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The most users ever online was 9 on June 11, 2006 @ 3:53 PM.

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ID #383
Occurred: 22 Aug 2006
Submitted: 22 Aug 2006, 3:15 PM
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Rating: 2.885/4 (26 votes)
*QB's cousin Qwalm and Derek Clark sign up for the last two Fantasy Football spots*
*Clark names his team "Apologetic Rapists." Qwalm names his team "My Penis"*

Come: I hope Come will eclipse My Penis this year!
Ngamer: In Week One, My Penis will be cut down to size!
Neo: I can't wait to tear My Penis a new one!
QB: I'm gonna beat My Penis and then lick Come!

Ngamer: Oh jeez... with the schedule breaking down the way it does, I can already tell that the tension is going to be mounting all season. I simply can't wait for Week 9; there's no telling what Apologetic Rapists are going to do when they get their hands on My Penis.

QB: Apologetic Rapists eh? I'm pretty sure Qwalm will find that team name in poor taste. I'm pretty sure My Penis won't stand for Apologetic Rapists.

QB: At first, I thought My Penis was a bit obscene. But after further reflection, I must credit it for being short and to the point. Needless to say, My Penis is really growing on me!

Qwalm: For the love of all that is holy, keep My Penis out of your mouths.

Ngamer: My apologies, Qwalm. You make a strong point; it seems as though My Penis has been on the tip of my tongue every night this week!
ID #165
Occurred: Aug 09 2005
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
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Rating: 2.429/4 (28 votes)
StarFox2500 (10:26:23 PM): one of my most prized records has been 'beaten'
StarFox2500 (10:26:37 PM): rambi arena 254
StarFox2500 (10:26:46 PM): a 262 has been posted at cyberscore
StarFox2500 (10:26:50 PM): i cant fathom that score
CieloAzor (10:26:58 PM): Must be a lie then.
YourElitenessPD (10:27:04 PM): Report it
StarFox2500 (10:27:16 PM): nah, i have more class than to do that
StarFox2500 (10:27:21 PM): ill give it another 250 hours of play
StarFox2500 (10:27:26 PM): then if it still doesnt look possible
StarFox2500 (10:27:29 PM): then ill report it
StarFox2500 (10:28:00 PM): even if its not possible, ill get 264 anyway
CieloAzor (10:28:05 PM): hah
CieloAzor (10:28:18 PM): What a spectacular boast!
Im Ngamer (10:28:43 PM): Phil Hughes: Since 1998, Doing the Impossible, or Giving Up Trying!
ID #181
Occurred: Sep 01 2005
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
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Rating: 2.296/4 (27 votes)
(17:00:23) Stickmansam 1024: The Onion updated !!
(17:00:30) Stickmansam 1024: the whole archive is available now!
(17:07:18) Jon "Ngamer" Barber: yes... for a pretty penny
(17:07:26) Stickmansam 1024: no, for free!
(17:07:39) Stickmansam 1024: http://www.theonion.com/content/archives
(17:08:12) Stickmansam 1024: *claps and jumps up and down*
(17:08:47) Jon "Ngamer" Barber: ok... but how much is this going to COST me?
(17:08:54) Jon "Ngamer" Barber: $10 a year would be ok, I guess
(17:09:09) Stickmansam 1024: it'll cost you... nothing!
(17:09:18) Stickmansam 1024: it's free-as-in-beer!
(17:09:56) Jon "Ngamer" Barber: fine, fine, I'll mail you the $10 tomorrow
(17:10:05) Jon "Ngamer" Barber: but I better be able to see the Archives then
(17:10:12) Stickmansam 1024: sure
(17:10:16) Stickmansam 1024: just send me the money
(17:10:33) Stickmansam 1024: after that, it's TOTALLY free
(17:10:49) Jon "Ngamer" Barber: alright, good deal
ID #468
Occurred: 11 Feb 2008
Submitted: 12 Feb 2008, 11:33 PM
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Rating: 2.455/4 (22 votes)
dragondragon18 (11:55:22 PM): I think Woll is hitting on you, Illu! Run!
RyanWhiteGoose (11:55:26 PM): That's not Woll. Woll's board name is "GoldenGreg007." That was Matis. His board name is "Matabird." 1+2=3 and the vowels are A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y.
MotoXRider31 (11:55:54 PM): Goose is trying to teach! Everyone, take cover!
Blueline Goddess (11:55:57 PM): As long as Goose doesn't try to teach sex education, we'll all be fine.
ID #187
Occurred: Sep 06 2005
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
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Rating: 2.720/4 (25 votes)
Stickmansam 1024 (7:52:44 PM): overall, the GameCube wasn't that great for me, because there were a lot of games which just demanded too much of you
Stickmansam 1024 (7:53:33 PM): TS2, Wind Waker, Melee, all required hideous amounts of effort to fully complete
Stickmansam 1024 (7:59:13 PM): WW needed ONE ring-shaped continent, with an ocean in the middle
Stickmansam 1024 (7:59:54 PM): more dungeons
Stickmansam 1024 (8:00:05 PM): higher difficulty rating
Im Ngamer (8:00:28 PM): first all these GC games are too hard, now he wants them harder!
Stickmansam 1024 (8:00:47 PM): perhaps I should just admit outright that I contradict myself a lot
Im Ngamer (8:01:28 PM): contradict yourself? just yesterday you said you never did that!
Stickmansam 1024 (8:01:35 PM): no I didn't!
ID #186
Occurred: 7 Sep 2005
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
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Rating: 2.560/4 (25 votes)
(02:54:32) GoldenJ007: When Wavebird was first advertised, they showed a kid with some sort of cold being thrown outside to play a game....
(02:54:40) GoldenJ007: Funny thing is, that same exact thing happened to me 2 winters ago :)
(02:54:50) wheatrich: except jimbo didn't have a cold
(02:54:57) wheatrich: or a game
ID #218
Occurred: Oct 16 2005
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
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Rating: 1.852/4 (27 votes)
MIG144MFI (8:17:47 PM): I sent in my apps to Case W and West Point today
Im Ngamer (8:18:12 PM): watch out Trent! they'll make you do pushups!
COME as u r337 (8:18:27 PM): Jon had to do a lot of pushups.
COME as u r337 (8:18:37 PM): With one of the instructors on his "back"
Im Ngamer (8:19:09 PM): well, sure, but it wasn't so bad for me
Im Ngamer (8:19:16 PM): the instructor had it worse
Im Ngamer (8:19:21 PM): 100 pushins
ID #189
Occurred: 13 Sep 2005
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
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Rating: 2.192/4 (26 votes)
Neo1337 (12:49:57 AM): Here comes Jon.
Im Ngamer (12:50:04 AM): ta da!
Neo1337 (12:50:08 AM): God I'm good.
YourGirlChica (12:50:16 AM): its like magic neo
CieloAzor (12:50:30 AM): But you didn't see me coming!
YourGirlChica (12:50:54 AM): I saw you coming Cielo.
CieloAzor (12:51:20 AM): Eek, you saw that?
CieloAzor (12:51:32 AM): I thought I had the drapes closed!
ID #465
Occurred: 3 Feb 2008
Submitted: 5 Feb 2008, 8:18 PM
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Rating: 2.565/4 (23 votes)
*during half-time of Super Bowl 42*
COME as u r337 (6:56:02 PM): good first half
COME as u r337 (6:56:15 PM): now, who wants to pick a Petty song?
COME as u r337 (6:56:18 PM): First song will be...
COME as u r337 (6:56:23 PM): Runnin Down A Dream
Im Ngamer (6:56:38 PM): sorry Come, I don't make petty bets
ID #498
Occurred: 4 Feb 2009
Submitted: 31 Mar 2009, 2:11 AM
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Rating: 1.737/4 (19 votes)
AlecBoy006 (9:18:21 PM): The thing is, they are still determining the Senate.
AlecBoy006 (9:18:28 PM): Who knows how long it will carry on.
AlecBoy006 (9:18:46 PM): I think Franken should get the seat.
AlecBoy006 (9:19:09 PM): He lead the percentage vote and popular vote.
isthatagoodt (9:19:15 PM): .....
isthatagoodt (9:19:16 PM): Corey
isthatagoodt (9:19:18 PM): .....
isthatagoodt (9:19:18 PM): WTF
BluelineGoddess (9:20:25 PM): are we thinking popular and electoral maybe?
isthatagoodt (9:20:33 PM): I don't know WHAT he's thinking
AlecBoy006 (9:20:45 PM): Franken's percentage: 41.991%
BluelineGoddess (9:20:47 PM): like I think certain counties are worth more in state races
AlecBoy006 (9:20:54 PM): Coleman: 41.984%
AlecBoy006 (9:21:19 PM): Franken popular vote: 1,212,431
AlecBoy006 (9:21:25 PM): Coleman 1,212,206
BluelineGoddess (9:21:33 PM): well obv popular and percentage will match up
isthatagoodt (9:21:34 PM): so coleman lost by just over 200 votes
isthatagoodt (9:21:37 PM): the vote total
isthatagoodt (9:21:39 PM): and the percentage
isthatagoodt (9:21:42 PM): are functions of each other!
isthatagoodt (9:21:43 PM): silly!!!
AlecBoy006 (9:22:15 PM): He won the popular of the vote and had the higher percentage of the votes.
isthatagoodt (9:22:16 PM): ........
isthatagoodt (9:22:23 PM): Yes
BluelineGoddess (9:22:24 PM): uh
isthatagoodt (9:22:25 PM): He had the higher percentage
isthatagoodt (9:22:27 PM): that's why he WON
BluelineGoddess (9:22:34 PM): that's implied with having the most votes
isthatagoodt (9:22:38 PM): thats why he had the highest percentage
BluelineGoddess (9:22:41 PM): you can't have fewer votes and a higher percentage
AlecBoy006 (9:24:43 PM): Yes. Because he had more votes he gets a higher percentage.
isthatagoodt (9:25:07 PM): Really?
AlecBoy006 (9:25:07 PM): Yes.
BluelineGoddess (9:25:15 PM): they sky is blue, when I look up I see cobalt.
BluelineGoddess (9:25:22 PM): holy redundancy
isthatagoodt (9:25:26 PM): But if Barry Bonds had more hits in the same amount of at bats as Chipper Jones, who would have the higher batting average
AlecBoy006 (9:25:50 PM): Wouldn't Bonds get it? Cause it's hits divided by at bats.
Thiradell (9:25:55 PM): lol
Thiradell (9:25:56 PM): Very good.
isthatagoodt (9:26:00 PM): Yeah but what if Jones won the percentage?
AlecBoy006 (9:26:12 PM): I suppose it wouldn't count.
Thiradell (9:26:18 PM): Oh Lord.
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