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The most users ever online was 9 on June 11, 2006 @ 3:53 PM.

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ID #441
Occurred: 6 Aug 2007
Submitted: 17 Aug 2007, 2:21 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 3.320/4 (25 votes)
*Jimbo pulls into a gas station in Ohio, driving Ngamer and wheat*
Jimbo: Whoa, a gallon of Pepsi for 89 cents? I've got to do this!
*gets out of the car, walks into the wrong building*
*stumbles into right building, but is told he has to pick up his Pepsi from the stand outside*
wheat: Okay, this is just getting ridiculous.
*attempts to pay for 89 cent purchase with credit card. credit card machine breaks*
Ngamer: Well, he's done it. This is the new WR for longest Pepsi purchase.
*sits around another 5 minutes before finally paying with a dollar bill*
*FINALLY climbs back into the driver's seat with his Pepsi*
wheat: I guess we at least learned something... how many Jimbos does it take to buy a Pepsi?
Ngamer: Well, we might not know the exact answer, but it's sure as heck more than one.
ID #181
Occurred: Sep 01 2005
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
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Rating: 2.296/4 (27 votes)
(17:00:23) Stickmansam 1024: The Onion updated !!
(17:00:30) Stickmansam 1024: the whole archive is available now!
(17:07:18) Jon "Ngamer" Barber: yes... for a pretty penny
(17:07:26) Stickmansam 1024: no, for free!
(17:07:39) Stickmansam 1024: http://www.theonion.com/content/archives
(17:08:12) Stickmansam 1024: *claps and jumps up and down*
(17:08:47) Jon "Ngamer" Barber: ok... but how much is this going to COST me?
(17:08:54) Jon "Ngamer" Barber: $10 a year would be ok, I guess
(17:09:09) Stickmansam 1024: it'll cost you... nothing!
(17:09:18) Stickmansam 1024: it's free-as-in-beer!
(17:09:56) Jon "Ngamer" Barber: fine, fine, I'll mail you the $10 tomorrow
(17:10:05) Jon "Ngamer" Barber: but I better be able to see the Archives then
(17:10:12) Stickmansam 1024: sure
(17:10:16) Stickmansam 1024: just send me the money
(17:10:33) Stickmansam 1024: after that, it's TOTALLY free
(17:10:49) Jon "Ngamer" Barber: alright, good deal
ID #104
Occurred: Jun 19 2005
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 1.788/4 (33 votes)
katslover42 (8:30:32 PM): Steve...going to take pics?
COME as u r337 (8:31:21 PM): Um.. if I have a chance
COME as u r337 (8:31:29 PM): we didn't have a camera when shade was here :(
COME as u r337 (8:32:49 PM): "SZ: I should've gotten pictures of me and Fal's mor"
COME as u r337 (8:32:54 PM): "OB: lololol"
COME as u r337 (8:33:01 PM): "Fal: :'("
Im Ngamer (8:33:18 PM): Shep: *idle*
COME as u r337 (8:34:42 PM): "Mark: ffs just lost 125 thou on AAKK342QJ"
COME as u r337 (8:33:17 PM): That's if this chat was 5 hours earlier
ID #450
Occurred: 1 Nov 2007
Submitted: 2 Nov 2007, 12:58 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 3.083/4 (24 votes)
(A jury ordered an anti-gay Kansas church to pay $10.9 million in damages to relatives of a U.S. Marine who died in Iraq after church members cheered his death at his funeral.)
octoinky (11:52:06 PM): hell, I'd cheer if those fuckheads died
NathanStinson (11:52:17 PM): why? its all because of the gays, octo!@
NathanStinson (11:52:22 PM): you should cheer THEIR deaths!
NathanStinson (11:52:23 PM): :)
octoinky (11:52:30 PM): I meant the churches, and I was joking haha
(11:52:32 PM) RyanWhiteGoose has entered the room.
RyanWhiteGoose (11:52:33 PM): lol im gay
octoinky (11:52:43 PM): how fittingly timed
ID #537
Occurred: 24 Sep 2010
Submitted: 24 Sep 2010, 6:27 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 2.643/4 (14 votes)
[talking about a KOTH AlecBoy006 wanted to run...]

isthatagoodt (13:38:49): Well his original idea was the worst thing I've ever seen
isthatagoodt (13:39:08): I keep trying to turn it in a better direction, and he's slowly making progress
isthatagoodt (13:39:18): But I don't think he's able to make "neat" clues on his own
Im Ngamer (13:42:00): paste in his #1 question and answer, everyone will get a kick out of it
isthatagoodt (13:42:23): The one you saw the other day/
isthatagoodt (13:43:06): Okay
isthatagoodt (13:43:09): The topic is
isthatagoodt (13:43:20): "There's something wrong with this question. Fix it"
isthatagoodt (13:44:06): alecboy006: If I may just run my idea first. I am working on it now. It's 25 questions. Each one has a statement, the objective is to correct the statement. You receive a point for righting the wrong. One of them, however, is exactly correct, so if you can successfully say the statement is correct, you receive two points
tiltingtrumpets (13:44:20): kill me now
BluelineGoddess (13:44:29): lol
isthatagoodt (13:44:40): alecboy006: #1 Terrorism was first coined in England's reign of terror from 1789-1799
isthatagoodt (13:44:46): Tell me when you're ready for the answer!
tiltingtrumpets (13:44:51): lol
Rshepherd1000 (13:44:52): that is correct
isthatagoodt (13:44:54): Answer: France
tiltingtrumpets (13:45:00): ?
BluelineGoddess (13:45:01): wait what
isthatagoodt (13:45:07): #2 Deng Xiaoping is he only person to win TIME's Man/Person of the year award three times.
BluelineGoddess (13:45:07): what is this I don't even
isthatagoodt (13:45:16): Answer: FDR
isthatagoodt (13:45:23): #3 Charles Darwin is known of the founder of Sociology.
tiltingtrumpets (13:45:32): these questions are stupid
isthatagoodt (13:45:32): Answer: August Comte
isthatagoodt (13:45:34): Cmon you guys!
isthatagoodt (13:45:39): #4 Cows have an amazing five stomachs
isthatagoodt (13:45:46): Answer: Only four
BluelineGoddess (13:45:49): this is one where no one would get points and it wouldn't just be trolling
isthatagoodt (13:45:52): #5 OJ Simpson, though a murderer, has the single season rushing recorcd of 2,105 yards.
Rshepherd1000 (13:46:00): FALSE
BluelineGoddess (13:46:05): he was acquitted of murder
tiltingtrumpets (13:46:05): HES NOT A MURDERER LOL
isthatagoodt (13:46:07): That's the wrong number of yards you guys
isthatagoodt (13:46:08): Answer: Used to belong to OJ, but Eric Dickerson now holds this honor.
isthatagoodt (13:46:22): Those were the original 5 sample questions he gave me :-)
holycatholique (13:46:25): eric dickerson murdered someone?
isthatagoodt (13:46:28): He had 20 written and ready to run
Rshepherd1000 (13:46:31): a solid group
isthatagoodt (13:46:59): Then he came back the next day
isthatagoodt (13:47:08): After I had given him an idea for a neat version of this KotH
isthatagoodt (13:47:18): 1:34:06 PM alecboy006: Ok1:34:35 PM alecboy006: For people, a person is given in a statement, but it's the wrong person. You have to tell me which person goes there instead of the person in the statement.1:34:48 PM alecboy006: Sample question: Ted Koppel was the only American journalist to see the tearing down of the Berlin Wall in person.
isthatagoodt (13:47:29): Answer: Tom Brokaw
isthatagoodt (13:47:37): 1:36:02 PM alecboy006: Sample Question: Jamestown, VA was the capital of the Confederate States of America
BluelineGoddess (13:47:41): who the fuck would know this shit
isthatagoodt (13:47:42): 1:38:00 PM alecboy006: Sample question: Jimmy Stewart was known for several movies, including It's a Wonderful Life and Mr. Brown Goes to Washington.
BluelineGoddess (13:47:43): seriously
isthatagoodt (13:47:46): 1:41:07 PM alecboy006: Sample question: In the PS2 game 007: Agent Under Fire, Pierce Brosnan provides the voice of James Bond (It's not letting me bold what needs to be corrected. When I highlight it, it bolds the whole thing)
Rshepherd1000 (13:48:10): smith
isthatagoodt (13:48:12): And these were....no better!
tiltingtrumpets (13:48:44): why is he being allowed to host another one
isthatagoodt (13:48:47): Basically, what I tried to get him to do was make each "wrong part" a cryptic (simple) clue to the answer
isthatagoodt (13:48:59): He didn't understand it, apparently
isthatagoodt (13:49:08): Unless Ted Koppel is a code word for Tom Brokaw
BluelineGoddess (13:49:17): they are both journalists
BluelineGoddess (13:49:19): and men
isthatagoodt (13:49:25): And that's where the clues stop
BluelineGoddess (13:50:06): like the music fill-in he did a couple weeks ago - the questions were horrible (most didn't even have any type of hint) and then the letters he gave in the answers didn't mean shit
isthatagoodt (13:50:14): Yeah
tiltingtrumpets (14:19:53): even googling it would be impossible
BluelineGoddess (14:21:54): since we're not even sure what part he wants us to correct
isthatagoodt (14:22:14): Right
isthatagoodt (14:22:19): I told him to bold the part that needs fixing
newershadow (14:22:19): google the phrases ldo
isthatagoodt (14:22:23): He's like "oh well that's obvious"
isthatagoodt (14:22:26): :S
tiltingtrumpets (14:22:27): that wouldn't work
isthatagoodt (14:22:32): There are about 10 things you could choose to fix in those
BluelineGoddess (14:22:43): exactly
isthatagoodt (14:22:55): I basically broke down every Q at him and showed him how horrible they were
isthatagoodt (14:23:00): He thought they were absolutely great
BluelineGoddess (14:24:07): he would
isthatagoodt (14:24:30): He was pretty shocked that there were people who didn't want him to host
ID #56
Occurred: Jan 09 2004
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
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Rating: 3.128/4 (39 votes)
GoldenGreg007 (11:53:22 PM): wouldn't that be a sweet band name?
GoldenGreg007 (11:53:24 PM): Child Porn
GoldenGreg007 (11:53:33 PM): "last night i saw Child Porn! it was awesome!"
GoldenGreg007 (11:53:42 PM): "Child Porn is the coolest!"
Neo26988 (11:53:46 PM): "I got us two tickets to Child Porn!"
GoldenGreg007 (11:53:50 PM): "Child Porn @#%$ rocks!"
Im Ngamer (11:54:07 PM): that WOULD be sweet
COME as u r337 (11:54:15 PM): go to school with a Child Porn t-shirt
Neo26988 (11:54:25 PM): "Man, I wish I was one of Child Porn"
Im Ngamer (11:54:32 PM): no, that doesn't work
Im Ngamer (11:55:00 PM): "Did you guys see Child Porn on MTV last night?!"
GoldenGreg007 (11:55:10 PM): "new Child Porn video out!"
GoldenGreg007 (11:55:18 PM): "Child Porn, national sensation"
Neo26988 (11:55:23 PM): Child Porn merchandise
GoldenGreg007 (11:55:26 PM): "Everyone loves Child Porn!"
GoldenGreg007 (11:55:34 PM): "From kids to adults"
COME as u r337 (11:55:40 PM): would they be on Virgin Records?
Neo26988 (11:55:46 PM): Child Porn is the biggest thing since sliced breads
Neo26988 (11:55:51 PM): Child Porn for all ages!
Im Ngamer (11:56:26 PM): "Are our children influenced by Child Porn?"
GoldenGreg007 (11:55:58 PM): virgin records
Neo26988 (11:56:05 PM): Either that or Jackson Records
Neo26988 (11:56:09 PM): if you know what I mean
COME as u r337 (11:56:34 PM): if you mean that you arent funny.. then i know it
Neo26988 (11:56:48 PM): faggot
Neo26988 (11:56:53 PM): I hate you Come
Neo26988 (11:56:53 PM): I HATE YOU
(11:57:01 PM) Neo26988 has left the room.
ID #275
Occurred: Feb 03 2006
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 3.036/4 (28 votes)
Neo26988 (1:34:46 AM): Ok, get this.
Neo26988 (1:34:53 AM): Two 14 year old girls have been charged for murder.
Neo26988 (1:35:08 AM): What stupid 14 year old kills a taxi driver.
Neo26988 (1:35:18 AM): "Oh noes, can't pay the fair! I..umm...*stab stab*"
Im Ngamer (1:36:07 AM): are you sure that's what happened?
Neo26988 (1:36:20 AM): No, I made that bit up.
Neo26988 (1:36:22 AM): But they did kill him.
Im Ngamer (1:38:57 AM): but think about it this way... if they'd gotten away with it, they'd have been geniuses
Neo26988 (1:39:14 AM): They didn't get away with it though, did they Jon?
Im Ngamer (1:40:43 AM): yeah, but if they had... that's $8.42 they just saved right there
Im Ngamer (1:40:58 AM): now, imagine if they could do that with every cab drive
Im Ngamer (1:41:05 AM): and... they take cabs all the time
Neo26988 (1:41:07 AM): $8.42? Taxis cost wayyy more than that over here.
Im Ngamer (1:41:21 AM): well then, it was even better
Im Ngamer (1:41:11 AM): could have saved millions!
Neo26988 (1:41:15 AM): Yeah.
Neo26988 (1:41:17 AM): Except.
Neo26988 (1:41:23 AM): They'd run out of taxi drivers, wouldn't they?
Neo26988 (1:41:37 AM): They'd eventually be an extinct species.
Im Ngamer (1:41:49 AM): well eventually no one would want to drive them, but then the rates would just go up
Im Ngamer (1:41:56 AM): because it would become a high paying job
Im Ngamer (1:42:05 AM): so they'd just be saving even more money
Im Ngamer (1:42:09 AM): with every stabbing
Neo26988 (1:42:18 AM): Well yeah, technically, but.
Neo26988 (1:42:21 AM): THEY'D BE KILLING PEOPLE.
Im Ngamer (1:42:50 AM): well, not for some dumb reason though
Im Ngamer (1:42:53 AM): it's just to save money
Im Ngamer (1:43:01 AM): you have to think like an economist here
Neo26988 (1:43:13 AM): I'd rather rob a bank.
Im Ngamer (1:44:53 AM): dang it Neo
Im Ngamer (1:45:00 AM): you're robbing from your own community!
CieloAzor (1:45:03 AM): I like the way you think, Jon.
Im Ngamer (1:45:12 AM): thanks man
Neo26988 (1:45:25 AM): *sigh* You wouldn't agree with me if your life depended on it, Jon.
Im Ngamer (1:45:34 AM): what? yes I would
ID #30
Occurred: Jan 19 2005
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 2.483/4 (29 votes)
Stickmansam 1024 (3:01:46 PM): part of my secret identity as a hitman who kills solely commercials and advertisements
Stickmansam 1024 (3:01:55 PM): it's a great character
Stickmansam 1024 (3:02:00 PM): but a nightmare to market
Stickmansam 1024 (3:02:19 PM): *action music*
Stickmansam 1024 (3:02:23 PM): ONE MAN
Stickmansam 1024 (3:02:25 PM): IN A WORLD
Stickmansam 1024 (3:02:30 PM): WHERE ALL THE RULES
Stickmansam 1024 (3:02:33 PM): HAVE CHANGED
Stickmansam 1024 (3:02:36 PM): FOR THE WORSE
Stickmansam 1024 (3:02:54 PM): "Everybody I've told about the file is dead!"
Stickmansam 1024 (3:02:58 PM): *huge explosion*
katslover42 (3:03:10 PM): "Dammit, Sam, these aren't just Ads, they are people's lifes!"
Stickmansam 1024 (3:03:19 PM): *shoots speaker*
Stickmansam 1024 (3:03:43 PM): "There's one place left to try."
katslover42 (3:03:49 PM): "Sam, we just got the call, the school is packed with kids AND computers...without AdBlock or AdAware"
Stickmansam 1024 (3:04:18 PM): "I'm going in alone."
"It's suicide! The place is crawling with Bonzis!"
katslover42 (3:04:38 PM): "Try our new penis enhancing pills!"
katslover42 (3:04:55 PM): "Enhance this, mother#*&$er"
katslover42 (3:05:04 PM): *gunshot*
Stickmansam 1024 (3:04:41 PM): SAM HUGHES IS
Stickmansam 1024 (3:04:45 PM): THE AD KILLER
Stickmansam 1024 (3:04:54 PM): ***FALL 2005***
Stickmansam 1024 (3:04:58 PM): this film is not yet rated
Stickmansam 1024 (3:05:41 PM): except like I say, the entire ad campaign FOR that movie is totally contradictory
katslover42 (3:05:48 PM): Yea
katslover42 (3:05:55 PM): That's highly ammusing in and of itself
katslover42 (3:06:07 PM): There shall be pop up ads for it, and pop up ad games where you must kill the pop up ads.
katslover42 (3:06:17 PM): *ad pops up* "Click to Kill!"
Stickmansam 1024 (3:06:21 PM): it's a marketing nightmare
Stickmansam 1024 (3:06:35 PM): although we could sell branded ad-blocking software
katslover42 (3:06:41 PM): True
katslover42 (3:06:43 PM): With free guns.
Stickmansam 1024 (3:06:48 PM): and a Billboard-Burner(TM)
ID #347
Occurred: Jun 06 2006
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 2.741/4 (27 votes)
CieloAzor (10:46:32 PM): How dare you categorize me!
CieloAzor (10:46:38 PM): I don't vote along party lines!
Im Ngamer (10:47:01 PM): it's true QB, you're the most surprising voter I know
Im Ngamer (10:47:05 PM): as I've mentioned to you many times
StvnHaley (10:47:11 PM): *coin toss*
ShadowZeroPD (10:47:22 PM): *mor toss*
Im Ngamer (10:47:43 PM): if I know SZ, she'll land tails up!
ID #88
Occurred: Apr 03 2004
Submitted: 10 Jun 2006, 12:00 AM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 1.938/4 (32 votes)
wheatrich, why do you take personal offence at this? Youll probably resign from your job in later life, just because your workmate put a whoopee-cushion under your seat
~ Harvey Manhood
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