0 members online in the last 15 minutes:
(none)
The most users ever online was 9 on June 11, 2006 @ 3:53 PM.

Most Recent Quotes

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ... 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50
ID #591
Occurred: 20 Mar 2015
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 9:25 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 3.571/4 (7 votes)
Link
*Alec's team goes to overtime in a critical playoff game, but he can't stay awake to watch it*

(00:08:49) DrInvertigone: I'm getting tired.
(00:09:20) DrInvertigone: That's me. The 23-year-old grandpa.
(00:09:27) GoldenJimbo007: virgin*
(00:09:38) Infilament: hawks playing the most exciting NHL game in months and alec can barely keep his eyes open
(00:09:47) DrInvertigone: True. But It's not something I frown upon or look at.
(00:10:24) DrInvertigone: Let society give me stigma for being a virgin. When it happens, it happens. I'm focused on being Corey the Conqueror and working my tail off this Summer.
(00:10:38) GoldenJimbo007: More like Corey the Cuntslayer
(00:10:54) GoldenJimbo007: Infil the Iron-dick
(00:11:26) GoldenJimbo007: Third the twisty-testicles
(00:11:31) Thiradell: lol
(00:11:36) DrInvertigone: Although, technically, it is biologically possible for somebody to be a grandpa at 23.
(00:11:36) GoldenJimbo007: Tyler the testicle twister
(00:11:57) DKK5: DK Very Small, Very Limp, Penis
(00:12:00) Infilament: being a testicle twister and having twisty-testicles p different things imo
(00:12:09) GoldenJimbo007: I know :-(
(00:12:16) Thiradell: I've received numerous compliments on my entwined members
(00:12:22) DrInvertigone: I'm not specifying myself. I'm saying, I think there was one couple that were parents at like 8-9 years old.
(00:12:39) GoldenJimbo007: Don't think I got my first boner until I was 14, that's impossible
(00:14:15) ngonhislaptop: more strange was that it was still 10 more years before Jim first saw it
(00:14:23) Infilament: loool
(00:14:28) GoldenJimbo007: LOL
ID #590
Occurred: 17 May 2015
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 9:23 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 4.000/4 (6 votes)
Link
*Alec's favorite team the Chicago Blackhawks make the Championship series, but he keeps picking them to lose every game along the way*

(23:26:27) DrInvertigone: I honestly think it'll be Ducks in 3.
(23:26:44) DrInvertigone: Hawks have no chance.
(23:30:59) Infilament: you are literally the worst, alec
(23:31:00) Thiradell: 3?
(23:31:21) DrInvertigone: Yes. Ducks in 3.
(23:31:32) DrInvertigone: Hawks might as well not show up.
(23:32:53) Infilament: how serious are you
(23:33:28) DrInvertigone: Close to 100.
(23:33:39) Infilament: then you can shut the FUCK up
(23:33:49) isthatagoodt: time to block this fool
(23:34:04) DrInvertigone: Actually it's only beginning.
(23:38:10) Infilament: alec i'm legitimately insulted at your hawks pred
(23:38:24) Infilament: you have won 8 games and lost 2
(23:38:35) Infilament: and you have predicted your team would lose every single fucking game
(23:38:36) Thiradell: lol

(00:16:26) GoldenJimbo007: Corey serious question since I don't follow hockey, what are the Hawk's chances?
(00:16:44) DrInvertigone: Ducks will squash a train through the Hawks.
(00:16:58) GoldenJimbo007: Squash a train, the hell
(00:16:59) GoldenJimbo007: lol
(00:16:59) Thiradell: what percentage
(00:17:07) DrInvertigone: 000000000000000.1
(00:17:32) ngonhislaptop: Alec you need to use those 0s on the other side of the dot
(00:17:45) TopRogue7: lol
(00:18:01) DrInvertigone: There is a lot of rampant negativity from Hawks fans. I'm in the same boat.
(00:18:03) TopRogue7: 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.1
(00:18:26) TopRogue7: uh, i don't know a single hawks fan who has anything negative to say about the team
(00:18:39) TopRogue7: other than you who isn't really a hawks fan, but a Skip Bayless level troll
(00:19:17) DrInvertigone: Go on HF - Hockey's Future and look at the Hawks board. Lots of pessimism to be had.
(00:19:51) TopRogue7: so how many alt accounts did they let you make?
(00:19:53) GoldenJimbo007: You gonna follow the Bears much this season?
(00:20:10) DrInvertigone: Do I look like I have that much time?
ID #589
Occurred: 15 May 2015
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 9:17 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 2.833/4 (6 votes)
Link
(21:33:44) DrInvertigone: Why have I been having so many nightmares in recent memory?
(21:34:03) GoldenJimbo007: Do any of them involve me hanging up the cleats in GE
(21:35:20) DrInvertigone: I had one last night - The U.S. placed more sanctions on Iran. As a result, the Muslims tried smuggling drugs back to their countries. I was walking to my Grandma's house and there were police and search dogs to sniff for drugs. Despite not having any drugs, the dog bit my bottom and latch onto it with his teeth while I was walking. He wouldn't let go. So instead of walking, the dog's bite forced me to leap like an astronaut to her house.
(22:30:34) ngonhislaptop: so you jumped a mile and ended up at the destination you wanted safe and sound, doesn't seem like such a bad nightmare to me
(22:31:13) DrInvertigone: No, Jon. A dog was biting me in the behind the entire time. His teeth were latched on, forcing me to travel in an abnormal way.
(22:33:53) DrInvertigone: Another nightmare was about Mace. The dream involved another secret character not in the game - Althorithm (Like Algorithm, but Althorithm was his name) He was like another Asmodeous and unbeatable. So I remember asking how to beat Althorithm on the internet. The key is not to call Althorithm by his name but to refer to this character as "He Who Shall Not Be Named"
(22:38:23) ngonhislaptop: so the nightmare was that you got stuck in a video game and had to google for help
ID #588
Occurred: 20 Mar 2015
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 9:15 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 3.000/4 (6 votes)
Link
*Jim and Ritch break up, Alec leaving soon for his new job*

(22:20:54) DrInvertigone: I'm highly motivated for Massachusetts.
(22:21:07) DrInvertigone: Like, really motivated.
(22:21:11) GoldenJimbo007: I'm highly motivated to eat this pizza right now
(22:21:15) GoldenJimbo007: Since rachel took my gd microwave
(22:21:22) BluelineGoddess: cold Chef has to suck
(22:22:22) TopRogue7: how did she take YOUR microwave lol
(22:22:33) TopRogue7: out of all the things to steal in a rage
(22:22:37) TopRogue7: i guess she hit you where it hurt the most
(22:22:43) BluelineGoddess: think it was technically her microwave
(22:22:49) GoldenJimbo007: Yeah dayle is right
(22:23:08) TopRogue7: huh, never known jim to skimp on the truth before
(22:23:16) BluelineGoddess: lol
(22:23:19) GoldenJimbo007: Meh, I bought it for her
(22:23:23) GoldenJimbo007: That was basically my microwave
(22:23:38) TopRogue7: i don't think you grasp the concept of ownership
(22:23:42) BluelineGoddess: everything I've ever given someone is basically mine?
(22:23:55) TopRogue7: perhaps this is why you felt entirely comfortable stealing from work every day
(22:24:09) TopRogue7: bah, i work here so all this stuff is basically mine anyway
(22:24:15) DKK5: Consider it a lesson learned
(22:24:33) BluelineGoddess: this convo is amazing
(22:24:50) GoldenJimbo007: I'm just flabbergasted she took the damn microwave
ID #587
Occurred: 15 Mar 2015
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 9:09 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 2.000/4 (6 votes)
Link
*Alec watches two hours of soap operas every afternoon*

(21:09:47) DrInvertigone has entered the room
(21:09:54) DrInvertigone: This Bachelor finale has been underwhelming.
(21:10:56) ngonhislaptop: well if General Hospital and The Bachelor don't meet your standards today at least you can still watch your True Blood DVDs later
(21:11:09) DrInvertigone: GH was great today.
(21:12:02) DrInvertigone: I know the main storyline now is the Sonny custody battle.
(21:12:16) DrInvertigone: I was waiting for Michael to change Avery's last name to Quartermaine.
(21:12:36) DrInvertigone: But decided he would call her AJ instead. Brilliant way to get back at Sonny to end today's episode.
(21:12:55) ngonhislaptop: quite the cunning fox, that one
(21:14:12) DrInvertigone: I do wonder if there's a way to cure Ava's cancer. I don't really care for the Spinelli/Nathan/Maxie love triangle. Franco and Nina continue to win me over. I know I'd like to see more. Hopefully they can reveal soon that Jake is Jason.
(21:14:33) DrInvertigone: Nothing worse than dragging out a long, dramatic storyline and making it underwhelming.
(21:15:00) DrInvertigone: The whole Luke storyline if he was being impersonated turned out to be Luke just going crazy. Didn't care for that.
(21:15:48) ngonhislaptop: wait, Jake is Jason? are you 100% on that, I could have sworn...
(21:15:57) DrInvertigone: Yes, Jake is Jason.
(21:16:03) DrInvertigone: Helena even told Jake he was Jason.
(21:16:08) DrInvertigone: But Jake couldn't remember who he was.
(21:16:20) DrInvertigone: And now Nick knows Jake is Jason but hasn't told Sam.
(21:17:23) Thiradell: pretty unfair to Sam
(21:17:58) Infil1212: yeah, sam's getting the raw deal here
(21:18:08) DrInvertigone: Well, Tyler, Jason and Sam are married and do have a kid together. Sam has visited Jake in the hospital with neither one of them knowing who Jake really is.
ID #586
Occurred: 9 Jan 2015
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 9:04 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 3.500/4 (6 votes)
Link
(19:20:52) GoldenJimbo007: $1873 for engagement ring
(19:21:11) DrInvertigone: You bought Rachel an engagement ring?
(19:21:21) isthatagoodlinux: they're engaged to be married
(19:21:24) isthatagoodlinux: did you literally not know
(19:21:40) DrInvertigone: When was this
(19:21:44) isthatagoodlinux: two weeks ago
(19:22:09) DrInvertigone: I hate wedding talk. :-(
(19:23:34) DrInvertigone: I'm very sad right now.
(19:26:39) DrInvertigone: Hopefully I can put a ring around someone's finger when I get this St. Paul job and become a famous baseball broadcaster.
(19:32:40) DrInvertigone: I want the attention and my moment in the limelight. A wedding could give me that.
(19:33:01) isthatagoodlinux: erm, what
(19:33:09) Infil1212: a great reason to get married
(19:33:16) isthatagoodlinux: right now i am about as confused as i have ever EVER been EVER
(19:33:23) Infil1212: typically the wedding day is the bride's moment, for the record
(19:33:26) DrInvertigone: Well, that's one of the things I'd want to get married for.
(19:33:27) TopRogue7: the wedding day is the bride's moment in the limelight
(19:33:36) DrInvertigone: I'll make sure the spotlight is on me. No worries.
(19:33:42) isthatagoodlinux: wait
(19:33:47) isthatagoodlinux: what
(19:33:52) isthatagoodlinux: did he really just say that

(19:34:07) ngonhislaptop: wedding is a really, really expensive and inefficient way to get attention
(19:34:49) DrInvertigone: But I also know the glitz and the glamor of it. I'm sick of sitting in seats watching others get married. I can't wait until it's my time.
(19:35:13) Infil1212: so you want to get married because you get to throw a huge party and people celebrate you, NOT because you want a wife
(19:35:33) Infil1212: you can throw a huge party at any time though?
(19:35:40) DrInvertigone: I don't really do that.
(19:38:16) DrInvertigone: I ain't drinking if I ever have a wedding. That's for sure.
(19:38:31) DrInvertigone: I also have no plans to hold a bachelor party if I get married.
(19:38:45) GoldenJimbo007: Who the hell doesn't want a bachelor party
(19:38:57) DrInvertigone: Me, Jim.
(19:39:37) DrInvertigone: Speak for yourself. I tend to live in seclusion. So, the night before my wedding I would just relax at my place doing whatever, maybe watching baseball or playing my N64 or something. Better yet, maybe I'll be calling baseball on the radio.
(19:39:53) Infil1212: the night before your wedding you might be throwing up with nervousness
(19:40:05) isthatagoodlinux: imagine if you had a panic attack 5 minutes before your wedding
(19:40:13) isthatagoodlinux: because you were thinking about having a panic attack at your wedding
(19:40:19) Infil1212: lol

(19:40:37) Infil1212: what's wrong with a bachelor party, alec
(19:40:43) Infil1212: isn't this exactly the attention you want?
(19:40:52) Infil1212: a party someone else plans for you where all the focus is on you
(19:41:11) DrInvertigone: I'm not a party person. I plan on deejaying my own reception, too. No requests allowed.
(19:41:57) Infil1212: i've never heard of the groom DJing a party, usually they're busy doing wedding stuff?
(19:42:03) Infil1212: like cutting the cake and dancing with their new wife?
(19:42:07) DrInvertigone: Well I plan to make an exception here.
(19:42:18) DrInvertigone: I'll be deejaying and asking my wife to come up and dance during select songs I play.
(19:43:45) venisonvixen: Why wouldn't you give a DJ your playlist so you can spend time with the wife and guests?
(19:43:57) DrInvertigone: I like to do things myself.
ID #585
Occurred: 10 Dec 2014
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 8:56 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 3.000/4 (6 votes)
Link
GoldenJimbo007 (12:55:29 AM): I caught a mouse on stream
GoldenJimbo007 (12:55:40 AM): Brought the little son of a bitch to my table (still alive for a good 40 mins btw)
GoldenJimbo007 (12:55:46 AM): Waited for him to die, no dice
GoldenJimbo007 (12:55:49 AM): So he peed on my table, then I got mad
GoldenJimbo007 (12:55:53 AM): So I took him outside and ended the misery there, stomped on the trap
GoldenJimbo007 (12:55:57 PM): Popped its eye out but wasn't dead
GoldenJimbo007 (12:55:59 PM): I had my sandals on (with socks, sigh)
Thiradell (12:56:28 AM): your table has the power of death but he was alive for 40 minutes?
GoldenJimbo007 (12:56:31 AM): Plastic mouse trap, caught him by the nose
GoldenJimbo007 (12:56:45 AM): So he was kicking and squeeling as I put him on camera
GoldenJimbo007 (12:56:54 AM): I set the trap/mouse next to my microphone and played around with this
GoldenJimbo007 (12:56:58 AM): 40 minutes later he's still trying to get out
Thiradell (12:57:28 AM): twitch suing
Infilament (12:57:51 AM): jimbo gets mad because an animal in his death throes urinated while jimbo was putting him on camera for his own amusement
DKK5 (12:58:01 AM): ^
Infilament (12:58:03 AM): so jimbo taught that son of a bitch a good lesson
DKK5 (12:58:32 AM): Torturing animals in public is a slippery slope
DKK5 (12:58:40 AM): Just ask known troll thingy
GoldenJimbo007 (12:58:56 AM): It's not torture when he previously ate through some of my food and poo'd all over my pots and pans
StinsonOnIphone (12:59:09 AM): Lol
StinsonOnIphone (12:59:13 AM): So it's justified?
DKK5 (12:59:26 AM): That's what the folks at Guantanamo Bay said
ID #584
Occurred: 9 Dec 2014
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 8:33 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 4.000/4 (6 votes)
Link
(22:17:42) ngonhislaptop: alright Jim consider me IN at the $120 price point for this Patriots @ Packers game if you can lock in a no-Ritch weekend
(22:18:05) ngonhislaptop: anything higher price than that will need to be reconfirmed, and any Ritch voids the contract
(22:18:48) Thiradell: Ng tells it like it is
(22:21:39) pylemire: ngsuperleg sure knows what he wants!
(22:26:29) DKK5: who controls speed run jon?
(22:26:59) Infilament: ngamer, will you ever spend a full day with ritch
(22:27:05) Infilament: under any circumstances, ever, in your lifetime
(22:28:27) ngonhislaptop: hmmm I guess for a million dollars I would, if it happened 70 years from now and I was deaf and blind
(22:28:44) GoldenJimbo007: Guess I won't waste the money on an Ngamer wedding invite
(22:30:13) Infilament: what about if you, jimbo, wiff, me, youse, DK, third, and 12 other eliters all went to a football game at lambeau together
(22:30:17) Infilament: BUT ritch also came along
(22:30:34) Infilament: would that be a dealbreaker for you
(22:30:42) Infilament: we would make sure she sat on the opposite end of the row from you
(22:31:03) ngonhislaptop: hmm... I'd go if she took her own car and sat on the other side of the stadium and didn't hang with us before or after
(22:31:13) DKK5: lol
(22:32:11) Infilament: no, she would come in one of the same vehicles we take
(22:33:47) ngonhislaptop: hmmm I'd be willing to drive her if she rode in the trunk and I was already in the stadium before Jim opened it
(22:33:55) Thiradell: lol
ID #583
Occurred: 7 Nov 2014
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 8:26 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 3.667/4 (6 votes)
Link
(19:37:07) GoldenJimbo007: Had another little interesting driving story on the way to work today I'm sure chatters will find entertaining
(19:49:04) GoldenJimbo007: So every morning when I go to work for 7:00 AM, I encounter a ton of buses, and it gets super irritating
(19:49:12) GoldenJimbo007: They stop all the time, they drive super slow, etc
(19:49:25) GoldenJimbo007: So this morning I got stopped behind a bus TWICE, nearly putting me late for work
(19:49:39) GoldenJimbo007: I thought I had it cleared when it turned right, but nope, one up the road was another bus coming right at me with a group of kids waiting about a block ahead
(19:49:50) GoldenJimbo007: I race to beat the bus past its "red light, stop sign" point, but to no avail, I'm way short
(19:50:07) GoldenJimbo007: I eventually said f this, and gunned it past the bus
(19:50:20) GoldenJimbo007: Bus driver lays on the horn, I flip him off (first instinct), and race off to work
(19:50:30) GoldenJimbo007: Guess I'll keep my eyes open for a ticket
(19:52:58) ngonhislaptop: you do realize when you try to bird a bus driver you're ACTUALLY birding 25 eight year olds right?

(20:20:33) isthatagoodt: lol you're getting a ticket
(20:20:35) isthatagoodt: have fun being fucked
(20:20:49) isthatagoodt: bus drivers have basically a 100% rate at getting you, i'd know
(20:20:50) GoldenJimbo007: I'll dispute it
(20:21:31) isthatagoodt: nah there's no disputing it either
(20:22:07) isthatagoodt: i hear about these all the time
(20:23:03) isthatagoodt: my dad is the transportation director for a school so he deals with it several times per year
(20:23:46) isthatagoodt: iowa recently upped the penalties for this too, fine up to $675 and possible jail time for passing a bus with the stop sign out
(20:24:11) isthatagoodt: after a 7 year old girl 1 town over got demolished by a dude in a pickup going 50mph
(20:24:30) COME as u r337: but did the dude flip the driver the bird as he went flying by?
(20:26:36) GoldenJimbo007: If it's some outrageous ticket I'll prob just ignore it conveniently
(20:26:56) ngonhislaptop: another flawless Jimbo strat, cool cool

(20:31:01) isthatagoodt: you said you were behind the bus
(20:31:27) GoldenJimbo007: no no I was pissed because I was behind 2 buses already
(20:31:36) GoldenJimbo007: When that bus turned right, I was in the clear
(20:31:42) GoldenJimbo007: Except for one in the distance (coming toward me)
(20:31:50) isthatagoodt: oh, then what were you speeding for you idiot
(20:32:12) isthatagoodt: you could have killed a kid for no reason
(20:32:23) COME as u r337: jim i can hear the swat team choppers above your trailer now
(20:34:35) GoldenJimbo007: Yeah it's always to awful with buses when I work at 7
(20:34:51) COME as u r337: leave 3 minutes earlier?
(20:35:09) GoldenJimbo007: Would have to be like 7 mins earlier or so
GoldenJimbo007 has left the room

(22:07:25) Infilament: jim driving story is insane
(22:07:51) Infilament: who guns it past a stopped bus driver because they're upset, then flips the bus driver off lol
(22:08:48) Infilament: the entitlement is insane to me
(22:09:07) ngonhislaptop: he had no choice, it was either risk the lives of children the world over, or wake up 5 minutes earlier
ID #582
Occurred: 28 Oct 2014
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 8:01 PM
You must log in to vote
Rating: 3.167/4 (6 votes)
Link
TopRogue7 (7:43:45 PM): seems like you kicked your depression right off
TopRogue7 (7:43:50 PM): to what do you attribute your success
DrInvertigone (7:44:11 PM): Well I did go on a date Saturday night and a date with someone else Sunday morning and both are open to seeing me again.
Thiradell (7:45:03 PM): lol
Thiradell (7:45:09 PM): sounds like a predicament
DrInvertigone (7:45:22 PM): The kind I'd like to have, for a change.
DrInvertigone (7:45:49 PM): Well I have one I'm more interested in than the other.
TopRogue7 (7:46:24 PM): whys that
DrInvertigone (7:46:38 PM): Connection, personality. Bonding.
DrInvertigone (7:50:34 PM): Well I told them both I'd like to see them again and both suggested Saturday night.
Thiradell (7:51:26 PM): what do you plan to do, Al
DrInvertigone (7:52:31 PM): See what they're both doing. Nothing is set in stone yet. I felt stronger about the second one. I've kissed both of them. The first one on the cheek. The second on the hand. I've also paired up with them arm in arm, so to speak.
Thiradell (7:54:56 PM): say they're both avail Saturday night
Thiradell (7:55:36 PM): what then
DrInvertigone (7:55:50 PM): Try to see if I can take the other one out Sunday.
Thiradell (7:56:04 PM): lol
Thiradell (7:56:29 PM): didn't know you were a polygamist
DrInvertigone (7:56:58 PM): I'm not. But I'm also trying to see who may be the better fit and if I can be able to finally do the unthinkable.
ngameratwork (7:57:42 PM): what are we not allowed to Think about in this context?
Thiradell (7:57:55 PM): the revival of Lord Voldemort
(8:17:46 PM) DrInvertigone has left the room.

(21:35:44) BluelineGoddess: unthinkable is sex obv
(21:35:54) BluelineGoddess: penis in cooter
(21:36:15) TopRogue7: "I've also paired up with them arm in arm, so to speak."
(21:36:25) TopRogue7: so to speak, i wonder what he REALLY means
(21:37:09) Thiradell: "I've also paired up with them arm in arm, so to speak" could be sold on the market for thousands of dollars
(21:37:16) Thiradell: golden line
(21:37:22) BluelineGoddess: he's painfully awkward Rob Lowe
(21:37:25) TopRogue7: I've also paired up with them penis in cooter, so to speak.
(21:37:29) Thiradell: lol
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ... 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50