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ID #584
Occurred: 9 Dec 2014
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 8:33 PM
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Rating: 4.000/4 (5 votes)
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(22:17:42) ngonhislaptop: alright Jim consider me IN at the $120 price point for this Patriots @ Packers game if you can lock in a no-Ritch weekend
(22:18:05) ngonhislaptop: anything higher price than that will need to be reconfirmed, and any Ritch voids the contract
(22:18:48) Thiradell: Ng tells it like it is
(22:21:39) pylemire: ngsuperleg sure knows what he wants!
(22:26:29) DKK5: who controls speed run jon?
(22:26:59) Infilament: ngamer, will you ever spend a full day with ritch
(22:27:05) Infilament: under any circumstances, ever, in your lifetime
(22:28:27) ngonhislaptop: hmmm I guess for a million dollars I would, if it happened 70 years from now and I was deaf and blind
(22:28:44) GoldenJimbo007: Guess I won't waste the money on an Ngamer wedding invite
(22:30:13) Infilament: what about if you, jimbo, wiff, me, youse, DK, third, and 12 other eliters all went to a football game at lambeau together
(22:30:17) Infilament: BUT ritch also came along
(22:30:34) Infilament: would that be a dealbreaker for you
(22:30:42) Infilament: we would make sure she sat on the opposite end of the row from you
(22:31:03) ngonhislaptop: hmm... I'd go if she took her own car and sat on the other side of the stadium and didn't hang with us before or after
(22:31:13) DKK5: lol
(22:32:11) Infilament: no, she would come in one of the same vehicles we take
(22:33:47) ngonhislaptop: hmmm I'd be willing to drive her if she rode in the trunk and I was already in the stadium before Jim opened it
(22:33:55) Thiradell: lol
ID #590
Occurred: 17 May 2015
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 9:23 PM
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Rating: 4.000/4 (5 votes)
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*Alec's favorite team the Chicago Blackhawks make the Championship series, but he keeps picking them to lose every game along the way*

(23:26:27) DrInvertigone: I honestly think it'll be Ducks in 3.
(23:26:44) DrInvertigone: Hawks have no chance.
(23:30:59) Infilament: you are literally the worst, alec
(23:31:00) Thiradell: 3?
(23:31:21) DrInvertigone: Yes. Ducks in 3.
(23:31:32) DrInvertigone: Hawks might as well not show up.
(23:32:53) Infilament: how serious are you
(23:33:28) DrInvertigone: Close to 100.
(23:33:39) Infilament: then you can shut the FUCK up
(23:33:49) isthatagoodt: time to block this fool
(23:34:04) DrInvertigone: Actually it's only beginning.
(23:38:10) Infilament: alec i'm legitimately insulted at your hawks pred
(23:38:24) Infilament: you have won 8 games and lost 2
(23:38:35) Infilament: and you have predicted your team would lose every single fucking game
(23:38:36) Thiradell: lol

(00:16:26) GoldenJimbo007: Corey serious question since I don't follow hockey, what are the Hawk's chances?
(00:16:44) DrInvertigone: Ducks will squash a train through the Hawks.
(00:16:58) GoldenJimbo007: Squash a train, the hell
(00:16:59) GoldenJimbo007: lol
(00:16:59) Thiradell: what percentage
(00:17:07) DrInvertigone: 000000000000000.1
(00:17:32) ngonhislaptop: Alec you need to use those 0s on the other side of the dot
(00:17:45) TopRogue7: lol
(00:18:01) DrInvertigone: There is a lot of rampant negativity from Hawks fans. I'm in the same boat.
(00:18:03) TopRogue7: 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.1
(00:18:26) TopRogue7: uh, i don't know a single hawks fan who has anything negative to say about the team
(00:18:39) TopRogue7: other than you who isn't really a hawks fan, but a Skip Bayless level troll
(00:19:17) DrInvertigone: Go on HF - Hockey's Future and look at the Hawks board. Lots of pessimism to be had.
(00:19:51) TopRogue7: so how many alt accounts did they let you make?
(00:19:53) GoldenJimbo007: You gonna follow the Bears much this season?
(00:20:10) DrInvertigone: Do I look like I have that much time?
ID #597
Occurred: 29 Dec 2016
Submitted: 29 Dec 2016, 9:24 PM
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Rating: 4.000/4 (1 vote)
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(08:08:00 PM) Jim Barrett: Liz 3 weeks from due
(08:08:11 PM) Jim Barrett: Was hoping Hutch would put up a pic, since the baby is probably 50% of total body weight there
(08:09:46 PM) ngameratwork: if Youse were here he'd call Nate the ultimate cuckmaster, now responsible for not one but two babies
(08:10:00 PM) StinsonOnIpad: Me? Hmm, I suppose I am
(08:10:11 PM) StinsonOnIpad: Two human beings exist because of me... weird thought
(08:10:13 PM) Jim Barrett: 2 humans, you are solely to blame
(08:10:23 PM) StinsonOnIpad: Yup I guess I'll take responsibility
(08:11:12 PM) Jim Barrett: Ngamer is responsible for closer to 15 humans
(08:11:19 PM) Jim Barrett: And pays 0 child support
(08:11:56 PM) ngameratwork: closer to 150 when you factor in my sperm donations
(08:13:54 PM) StinsonOnIpad: Hmmm have you ever thought of going to the sperm bank for donations Jim?
(08:17:28 PM) ngameratwork: he doesn't need to, he does well enough at the bars
ID #592
Occurred: 22 May 2015
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 9:30 PM
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Rating: 3.833/4 (6 votes)
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(20:25:09) GoldenJimbo007: Yep just microwaved some ice cream
(20:25:13) GoldenJimbo007: Love me some soft serve
(20:25:21) TopRogue7: lol
(20:25:26) Infil1212: yz literally throwing up in his mouth right now
(20:25:41) TopRogue7: [x] wisconsin
(20:26:34) TopRogue7: wait, he has a fridge? why, he never eats leftovers
(20:27:05) GoldenJimbo007: I put pizza straight from the oven into the freezer to not burn myself
(20:27:13) GoldenJimbo007: I never have leftovers that's correct
(20:27:35) TopRogue7: yeah, who can wait 40 seconds for pizza to cool down
(20:27:40) GoldenJimbo007: 5 minutes*
(20:27:47) Infil1212: putting hot pizza into the fridge/freezer should be a literal crime
(20:27:54) GoldenJimbo007: m8 who wants piping hot sauce
(20:27:57) Infil1212: i do
(20:28:08) TopRogue7: i make pizza all the time and have not once waited 5 minutes to eat it
(20:28:14) TopRogue7: and i usually bake it at 500
(20:28:42) Thiradell: this is fucking absurd
(20:28:45) Thiradell: this is going too far
(20:29:14) GoldenJimbo007: For like 3 god damn minutes get over it
(20:29:20) Thiradell: why not just let it sit for 5 minutes
(20:29:29) Infil1212: pizza gets cold too fast, if anything
(20:29:32) GoldenJimbo007: way quicker to super freeze it
(20:29:36) Thiradell: you're a fool
(20:29:39) Infil1212: like, i want to eat more pizza quickly
(20:29:42) Infil1212: so i can eat it while it's warm
(20:30:06) Thiradell: why not just get a toaster oven and put it in the freezer
(20:30:09) Thiradell: to balance the temperatures
(20:30:43) Infil1212: lol third
(20:30:47) Infil1212: 10/10
ID #516
Occurred: 11 Dec 2009
Submitted: 11 Dec 2009, 11:01 PM
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Rating: 3.706/4 (17 votes)
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[21:50] GoldenJimbo007: Gonna shovel out lambeau tomorrow for mega $$
[21:50] GoldenJimbo007: Bringing Rachel of course, $$ x2
[21:51] Ngameratwork: $8 an hour is mega bucks?
[21:51] GoldenJimbo007: cash? tax free?
[21:51] GoldenJimbo007: It's good money!
[21:51] Ngameratwork: surely it couldn't take more than 4 hours
[21:51] GoldenJimbo007: Usually 6
[21:51] GoldenJimbo007: i'd love to shovel for 6
[21:52] CieloAzor: I don't think you could shovel for 2
[21:53] CieloAzor: you'd be out of breath within 5 minutes, tubby
[21:53] GoldenJimbo007: I'm in fantastic shape!
[21:53] DKK5: Round is, indeed, a fantastic shape
ID #566
Occurred: 12 Dec 2012
Submitted: 13 Dec 2012, 8:11 PM
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Rating: 3.700/4 (10 votes)
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(02:38:14) CieloAzor: already got something neat to bring to VA next year
(02:38:23) CieloAzor: Infil's the only one I showed
(02:38:41) Infil1212: kinda excited to see it in action
(02:40:03) Im Ngamer: I don't think I'll be bringing anything surprising to VA this year, except my wife
(02:40:21) CieloAzor: good one
(02:40:34) Infil1212: are you going to bring your own air pump, or use the Weatherton's?
(02:40:46) Im Ngamer: ...
ID #501
Occurred: 19 Apr 2009
Submitted: 20 Apr 2009, 2:54 AM
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Rating: 3.650/4 (20 votes)
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GoldenJimbo007: So tonight
GoldenJimbo007: I had a "blind date"
Infil12: the girl wished she was blind when she saw you?
ID #583
Occurred: 7 Nov 2014
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 8:26 PM
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Rating: 3.600/4 (5 votes)
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(19:37:07) GoldenJimbo007: Had another little interesting driving story on the way to work today I'm sure chatters will find entertaining
(19:49:04) GoldenJimbo007: So every morning when I go to work for 7:00 AM, I encounter a ton of buses, and it gets super irritating
(19:49:12) GoldenJimbo007: They stop all the time, they drive super slow, etc
(19:49:25) GoldenJimbo007: So this morning I got stopped behind a bus TWICE, nearly putting me late for work
(19:49:39) GoldenJimbo007: I thought I had it cleared when it turned right, but nope, one up the road was another bus coming right at me with a group of kids waiting about a block ahead
(19:49:50) GoldenJimbo007: I race to beat the bus past its "red light, stop sign" point, but to no avail, I'm way short
(19:50:07) GoldenJimbo007: I eventually said f this, and gunned it past the bus
(19:50:20) GoldenJimbo007: Bus driver lays on the horn, I flip him off (first instinct), and race off to work
(19:50:30) GoldenJimbo007: Guess I'll keep my eyes open for a ticket
(19:52:58) ngonhislaptop: you do realize when you try to bird a bus driver you're ACTUALLY birding 25 eight year olds right?

(20:20:33) isthatagoodt: lol you're getting a ticket
(20:20:35) isthatagoodt: have fun being fucked
(20:20:49) isthatagoodt: bus drivers have basically a 100% rate at getting you, i'd know
(20:20:50) GoldenJimbo007: I'll dispute it
(20:21:31) isthatagoodt: nah there's no disputing it either
(20:22:07) isthatagoodt: i hear about these all the time
(20:23:03) isthatagoodt: my dad is the transportation director for a school so he deals with it several times per year
(20:23:46) isthatagoodt: iowa recently upped the penalties for this too, fine up to $675 and possible jail time for passing a bus with the stop sign out
(20:24:11) isthatagoodt: after a 7 year old girl 1 town over got demolished by a dude in a pickup going 50mph
(20:24:30) COME as u r337: but did the dude flip the driver the bird as he went flying by?
(20:26:36) GoldenJimbo007: If it's some outrageous ticket I'll prob just ignore it conveniently
(20:26:56) ngonhislaptop: another flawless Jimbo strat, cool cool

(20:31:01) isthatagoodt: you said you were behind the bus
(20:31:27) GoldenJimbo007: no no I was pissed because I was behind 2 buses already
(20:31:36) GoldenJimbo007: When that bus turned right, I was in the clear
(20:31:42) GoldenJimbo007: Except for one in the distance (coming toward me)
(20:31:50) isthatagoodt: oh, then what were you speeding for you idiot
(20:32:12) isthatagoodt: you could have killed a kid for no reason
(20:32:23) COME as u r337: jim i can hear the swat team choppers above your trailer now
(20:34:35) GoldenJimbo007: Yeah it's always to awful with buses when I work at 7
(20:34:51) COME as u r337: leave 3 minutes earlier?
(20:35:09) GoldenJimbo007: Would have to be like 7 mins earlier or so
GoldenJimbo007 has left the room

(22:07:25) Infilament: jim driving story is insane
(22:07:51) Infilament: who guns it past a stopped bus driver because they're upset, then flips the bus driver off lol
(22:08:48) Infilament: the entitlement is insane to me
(22:09:07) ngonhislaptop: he had no choice, it was either risk the lives of children the world over, or wake up 5 minutes earlier
ID #586
Occurred: 9 Jan 2015
Submitted: 11 Jun 2015, 9:04 PM
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Rating: 3.600/4 (5 votes)
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(19:20:52) GoldenJimbo007: $1873 for engagement ring
(19:21:11) DrInvertigone: You bought Rachel an engagement ring?
(19:21:21) isthatagoodlinux: they're engaged to be married
(19:21:24) isthatagoodlinux: did you literally not know
(19:21:40) DrInvertigone: When was this
(19:21:44) isthatagoodlinux: two weeks ago
(19:22:09) DrInvertigone: I hate wedding talk. :-(
(19:23:34) DrInvertigone: I'm very sad right now.
(19:26:39) DrInvertigone: Hopefully I can put a ring around someone's finger when I get this St. Paul job and become a famous baseball broadcaster.
(19:32:40) DrInvertigone: I want the attention and my moment in the limelight. A wedding could give me that.
(19:33:01) isthatagoodlinux: erm, what
(19:33:09) Infil1212: a great reason to get married
(19:33:16) isthatagoodlinux: right now i am about as confused as i have ever EVER been EVER
(19:33:23) Infil1212: typically the wedding day is the bride's moment, for the record
(19:33:26) DrInvertigone: Well, that's one of the things I'd want to get married for.
(19:33:27) TopRogue7: the wedding day is the bride's moment in the limelight
(19:33:36) DrInvertigone: I'll make sure the spotlight is on me. No worries.
(19:33:42) isthatagoodlinux: wait
(19:33:47) isthatagoodlinux: what
(19:33:52) isthatagoodlinux: did he really just say that

(19:34:07) ngonhislaptop: wedding is a really, really expensive and inefficient way to get attention
(19:34:49) DrInvertigone: But I also know the glitz and the glamor of it. I'm sick of sitting in seats watching others get married. I can't wait until it's my time.
(19:35:13) Infil1212: so you want to get married because you get to throw a huge party and people celebrate you, NOT because you want a wife
(19:35:33) Infil1212: you can throw a huge party at any time though?
(19:35:40) DrInvertigone: I don't really do that.
(19:38:16) DrInvertigone: I ain't drinking if I ever have a wedding. That's for sure.
(19:38:31) DrInvertigone: I also have no plans to hold a bachelor party if I get married.
(19:38:45) GoldenJimbo007: Who the hell doesn't want a bachelor party
(19:38:57) DrInvertigone: Me, Jim.
(19:39:37) DrInvertigone: Speak for yourself. I tend to live in seclusion. So, the night before my wedding I would just relax at my place doing whatever, maybe watching baseball or playing my N64 or something. Better yet, maybe I'll be calling baseball on the radio.
(19:39:53) Infil1212: the night before your wedding you might be throwing up with nervousness
(19:40:05) isthatagoodlinux: imagine if you had a panic attack 5 minutes before your wedding
(19:40:13) isthatagoodlinux: because you were thinking about having a panic attack at your wedding
(19:40:19) Infil1212: lol

(19:40:37) Infil1212: what's wrong with a bachelor party, alec
(19:40:43) Infil1212: isn't this exactly the attention you want?
(19:40:52) Infil1212: a party someone else plans for you where all the focus is on you
(19:41:11) DrInvertigone: I'm not a party person. I plan on deejaying my own reception, too. No requests allowed.
(19:41:57) Infil1212: i've never heard of the groom DJing a party, usually they're busy doing wedding stuff?
(19:42:03) Infil1212: like cutting the cake and dancing with their new wife?
(19:42:07) DrInvertigone: Well I plan to make an exception here.
(19:42:18) DrInvertigone: I'll be deejaying and asking my wife to come up and dance during select songs I play.
(19:43:45) venisonvixen: Why wouldn't you give a DJ your playlist so you can spend time with the wife and guests?
(19:43:57) DrInvertigone: I like to do things myself.
ID #515
Occurred: 12 Sep 2009
Submitted: 12 Sep 2009, 4:00 PM
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Rating: 3.588/4 (17 votes)
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RyanWhiteGoose (2:51:33 PM): Im now going to pour baking soda on my carpet
rshepherd1000 (2:52:45 PM): ...baking soda?
RyanWhiteGoose (2:53:09 PM): well Shep
RyanWhiteGoose (2:53:18 PM): it's called Odor Eliminator by Arm & Hammer
octoinky (2:53:49 PM): WTF did you do, goose, take a dump on your floor?
RyanWhiteGoose (2:54:24 PM): no Octo
RyanWhiteGoose (2:54:32 PM): I've jizzed on my floor approx 2000 times in the past 8 years
octoinky (2:54:52 PM): wtf
PYLemire (2:54:57 PM): tissues? :p
RyanWhiteGoose (2:55:24 PM): I hate tissues
RyanWhiteGoose (2:55:27 PM): I used to use my garbage bin
RyanWhiteGoose (2:55:31 PM): but that got too gross
octoinky (2:55:10 PM): just put a box of.. yeah.. tissues.. on your desk
COME as u r337 (2:56:00 PM): or just get a girl that cant get preggers and you're fine
DKK5 (2:56:40 PM): Goose's age preference has that covered I'd imagine
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